To Love and Serve Read online

  “Cheater,” she taunted, and launched an attack. He used her forward momentum against her, sidestepping and trying to snag one arm to trap her as she flew past.

  His move failed miserably.

  She spun around and hooked a punch at him as he reached for her, catching him on the cheek. The blow was strong enough to drive his head back, stunning him for a moment. She pulled free and pushed him away, opening his body for another attack.

  …

  Diana drove her fist into Ryder’s solar plexus with enough force to make her point. He grunted and bent over from the blow.

  Sometime during the fight, she’d lost the will to hurt him, but the shadowy parts that awoke too often lately came to life, needing to do more than a half-hearted punch to make him understand how she felt. She slipped behind him, snared his arm, and hit the back of his knee. It crumpled from the blow and she drove him down hard to the ground.

  He landed roughly in a face plant, his breath whooshing out from the impact and her weight bearing down on him. His cheek was flat on the mat, his face turned toward her.

  She jammed her knee in the middle of his back, applying painful pressure to his spine. For good measure, she twisted his arm upward to keep him pinned. Well, for a little while. Her energy was failing her far too quickly.

  Leaning close, she whispered in his ear, “Say you’re sorry, Ryder. I don’t want to hurt you, but I will if I have to.”

  “Why are you fighting me, darlin’? Why do you refuse my help?”

  Anger at his stubbornness made her dig her knee in deeper and push his arm upward just a bit more, making him wince. Abruptly, she released him, sat down, and straddled his thighs.

  In one fluid move he flipped onto his back.

  Staring up at her, he slid his hands onto her waist, his touch gentle despite the roughness of her actions. His tenderness pulled her back from the edge, bringing guilt that she’d been so harsh with him. It was a painful reminder that the longer she stayed with him, the more the darkness of his world called to the barely controlled violence inside her.

  A reddish scrape along his cheek glared at her and she regretted marring his beautiful face. A dark angel’s face, deep cocoa eyes filled with caring and compassion. Hard masculine lips smiling wistfully. His look only made her feel guiltier, but she had to get her message across.

  “I need my freedom. I need you to stay away so I can do what I have to in my world. Please.” She rested her hands on his forearms and stroked them in a motion meant to offer apology.

  …

  Ryder had hoped by now Diana would understand it was no longer a case of her world versus his, not only because of her physical condition, but because of the emotions she kept bottled inside. Emotions too similar to the loss and loneliness he’d battled over the centuries. He could help her handle them if she left her human world behind and joined him in his world.

  He lifted his hands to her back and urged her forward.

  She didn’t fight him, but slid her body upward along his. Resting her hands on his shoulders and bending toward him, she begged against his lips, “Please, Ryder.”

  He shifted his hand to rest in the gap between her breasts, feeling her heart race. A solid, speedy beat that testified to her passion, not the fragile flutter that told him she needed a treatment.

  “You are all that matters to me,” he said. “Do you think I can stand by and do nothing to keep you with me?”

  She sighed and the warmth of her breath bathed his lips. “You make this too hard.”

  But her words were followed by the brush of her lips against his. He savored the love in that kiss.

  He opened his mouth, accepting her urgent kiss, groaning at the press of her body along the length of his. Relishing every lean hollow and soft curve pillowed into him.

  She licked the edge of his lips with her tongue, then dipped it in to taste him. To run it along the edges of his teeth, where she’d find no hint of the vampire. For now, he wanted to share his humanity.

  Reaching between their bodies, he cupped her breast and swiped his thumb across the beaded tip. Taking it between his thumb and forefinger, he kneaded it into an even harder peak while he slid his other hand beneath the edge of her camisole.

  With a quick surge, he yanked it over her head, freeing her breasts so he could touch them. He tweaked her nipples with his fingers, earning a strangled moan from her.

  “Ryder,” she breathed huskily against his lips.

  He pulled away from her kiss to whisper in her ear, “Tell me what you want, darlin’.”

  She shivered with desire and he knew he would give her whatever she asked.

  Sitting up slightly, she stared down at him, cupped her breasts and said, “I want your mouth on me.”

  A long shudder ripped across his body and his vamp senses picked up on the answering pulse between her legs. He covered her hands with his, rose, and took her nipple into his mouth, sucking and biting while he caressed her other breast with his fingers. She trembled and raked her fingers through his hair, holding him close, and shifted her hips against his body, insistent in her need.

  He was so hard it was almost painful, but he didn’t want to rush the moment. He sensed it wouldn’t take much to push her over the edge. Tempering his caresses, he lay back down, toying with her breasts, and asked, “What else do you want?”

  She bit her full bottom lip. A becoming and blessedly healthy flush worked across her cheeks. “I want you to kiss me. Down there.”

  He sucked in a breath and held it, battling the demon that awakened at the memory of her taste. It wanted to come out and play. In a blast of speed, he surged to his feet, sweeping her into his arms. The hard points of her breasts rubbed against his chest as she raised her hands to his shoulders for support.

  “You don’t need to ask twice, darlin’,” he managed as he carried her to their bedroom.

  He kicked open the door, revealing the preparations he’d finished earlier that night. A dozen strategically placed candles bathed the room in soft light. Across the king-sized bed, a riot of crimson rose petals were a shock of life against the cream-colored sheets.

  She chuckled and nuzzled the crook of his neck, whispering, “I guess you knew you’d be in the doghouse.”

  “If our fights always end here, I won’t complain.”

  “Neither will I,” she said, and playfully bit the underside of his jaw before dropping a line of kisses along its edge. As she neared his chin, he turned his face and took her mouth in a deep, soul-searing kiss that had them both shaking.

  Arms trembling from his barely leashed desire, he lowered her to the edge of the bed. She sat there for a moment, arms braced behind her, providing him a view of all her lush femininity and lean strength. Biting her lower lip again, she reached down and undid the snap on her jeans, shimmied out of them, then sat back again. Slowly she parted her legs, giving him a glimpse of her sex, reminding him of his promise.

  He ripped off his shirt, sending buttons flying in his haste to be close to her. He was only a little more careful with his pants, maybe because even the slight shift of the zipper against the pressure of his erection nearly crippled him, he was so hard. He shucked off his pants, kicking them aside, pleased as her eyes widened and a strangled sigh of promised pleasure escaped her.

  She was as ready for his lovemaking as he was—but first there was a promise to keep.

  Stepping between the vee of her legs, he skimmed the tips of his fingers along her thighs, a tantalizingly slow back-and-forth brush. Beneath her skin, her muscles jumped and shivered with anticipation.

  He pressed upward to the nearly black nest of curls at her center, teasing them aside to reveal the swollen and flushed nub at her core. His gaze skipped to hers just long enough to see the way she hungered for his special kiss.

  Not wanting to disappoint, he dropped to his knees and slicked his lips against that sensitive button, dragging a low moan from her.

  She tangled her fingers in his hair an
d urged him forward. “Ryder,” she whispered.

  He would never tire of hearing her say his name.

  He leaned into his kiss, bringing his lips full against her, sucking and biting while easing a finger into her wet heat. The smell of her, of her desire for him, roused the demon, and he released a deep growl of need.

  She responded with a tremor that wracked her body. Her hand clenched against his skull, urging him on, accepting the darkness that always lay just beneath his human veneer and hers.

  His body heated as the demon erupted, blasting past his control. It wanted a taste of her, too. He dragged his exposed fangs along the flesh of her nether lips.

  Shivering and moaning at his touch, she grasped his shoulders and urged him upward.

  He moved up, their bodies damp with sweat, the aroma of their passion a potent pheromone to the demon Ryder fought to keep in check. His erection settled at her center and the heat and wet of her beckoned him. But he paused, waiting for her permission, showing her that control was still possible. Wanting her to recognize she could also be the master of her desires if she’d commit to his world.

  …

  Diana met Ryder’s gaze, bright with neon. The lines of his face were harsh with the struggle to command his vampire. She cupped his jaw, and with her thumb she traced his mouth and the exposed length of fang, showing him she did not fear this side of him. That she trusted him, maybe more than she trusted herself. Because the demon called to her, too…

  He groaned and jutted his hips against hers, wanting completion.

  She reached down, encircling him. His erection was powerful and alive in her hand. With a gentling stroke, she guided him to her center.

  He slid in deep, and she gasped at the fullness of him stretching her. Filling her with his heat and strength.

  “Did I hurt you?” he asked in a low rumble, like a big cat lay just beneath the surface of his voice.

  She stroked across the swell of his chest and rested her hands against the hard nubs of his masculine nipples and softly said, “Never. You would never hurt me.”

  He sucked in a rough breath and leaned closer, the sheer size of him demanding. Bracing his hands on either side of her body, he pulled out, dragging a shiver from her at the friction.

  She urged him back by wrapping her legs around his hips, and he answered, surging forward again, starting a slow rhythm of fulfillment. He bent his head to suckle at her breasts, the touch of his lips loving. The scrape of fang against sensitive skin reminded her this was dangerous play, and yet she welcomed it. Welcomed him.

  She snaked a hand into his hair to hold him close. And rubbed his masculine nipple with the fingers of her other hand, wanting to give him as much pleasure as he was bringing her.

  He growled again, more loudly. The sound traveled across his body into hers, vibrating in her core. Drawing her ever closer to the edge.

  He plunged harder, again and again, driving her high onto the bed with the force of the thrusts. Groaning with pleasure as her muscles tightened around him.

  He met her gaze, eyes bright with the vampire’s glow. “I love you,” he said, harsh with emotion. Release shimmered around the edges of her consciousness.

  She smiled, leaned in to kiss him, and whispered against his lips, “I love you.”

  His kiss this time was one tinged with inner pain, but she kissed it away, wanting to soothe him. Needing to get her fill of him before she either left this world…or became someone, or something, he could no longer love—a fledgling vampire overtaken by the worst of the darkness in her soul.

  She drove away that terrifying thought and fell back against the bed to accept his amazing passion. With a few more strokes of his hips, he had her poised on the edge. When he bent and bit the puckered tip of one breast, his kiss tossed her over. She shook as her release pummeled her body, then all over again when his followed.

  A low growl warned what would happen next. With a little shake of mingled fear and pleasure, she held him to her as he brought his mouth to the sensitive crook between her neck and shoulder. Those lethal fangs grazed the skin there, giving her a moment to prepare.

  She braced herself, holding her breath, and in the instant after, Ryder sank his fangs deep into her neck.

  No matter how often they united like this, the shock of it coursed through her body and the passion of his vampire kiss snaked through her, bringing sexual heat like none she’d ever experienced before. It sizzled along her nerve endings, awakening them to every nuance of him.

  The soft hairs of his chest brushed the sensitized tips of her breasts. His hard belly pressed into hers, the muscles in his thighs shifting as he moved within her again, his erection renewed by his demon’s bite.

  Her desire reawakened along with the vitality he bestowed on her with his kiss.

  She cradled him close as he fed, encouraging him with soft cries of pleasure. Waiting breathlessly for the moment he would break away from the keeper’s kiss.

  …

  Ryder was lost in the wonder of Diana. Lost in the sweetness of her blood against his lips, and her skin, smooth as satin all along his. Reveling in the warmth of her surrounding him, cradling his erection as it surged to life again with the demon’s feeding.

  He moved inside her, wanting to feel her passion spike once more, even as he fed. Drinking and sucking in the life he cared for so deeply. Providing his own life’s blood through the kiss to help control her contamination and keep her with him.

  Just a little longer, he prayed. While the demon inside him contrarily whispered, “No. Forever.”

  He could keep her with him forever. Just a little more, just a little nudge, and she’d be his.

  The hand at the back of his head held him close, but at the same time, she pushed against his shoulder with the other, seemingly aware that they did a hesitant dance along a dangerous edge.

  “Ryder,” she murmured again, but he couldn’t tell if it was in plea or protest.

  He was losing perspective, entangled in the pleasure of her body, in the taste of her life’s essence…and the painful knowledge he might one day lose her.

  “Forever,” came the demon’s silent cry again as he sucked harder, but this time the push against his shoulder came more forcefully. This time there was no denying the insistent command in her voice.

  “Ryder, no. Please, stop. Stop.”

  Chapter Five

  Ryder’s body stilled for the barest second, then he ripped away from Diana, fangs and mouth stained with her blood. Her pulse pounded in her ears, her nerves shattered.

  She braced an arm on the bed and rose, her free hand covering the side of her neck. The stark hot wetness of her blood and the pain of his bite faded quickly as the wound quickly healed, thanks to the vamp cells.

  He stood beside the bed, his chest heaving. His fists were clenched at his side, bloodless from the pressure of his grip.

  The neon of the vampire receded rapidly, replaced by the warm brown of his human eyes. Pain swam in the shadows of his gaze.

  She hated the misery she caused him as much as she hated the fear gripping her gut at how close he came to losing control. And especially hated how, for the space of a heartbeat, she actually considered allowing him that ultimate kiss.

  “I know saying I’m sorry won’t cut it.”

  “No, it won’t,” she said. “But I’m as much to blame. I shouldn’t ask for your keeper’s kiss…but as long as it holds back the contamination in my body, there’s still a chance I can remain human.”

  He stalked to the edge of the bed, his body vibrating so violently with anger she scrambled away from him, fearful for the first time in years. Not since their original meeting when he’d revealed his true self had she felt this afraid.

  “What if the kiss stops working?” he demanded. “What if the treatments fail? Do you think I can just watch you die, and do nothing?” He beat his chest with one fist so hard it left a splotch of pink against his skin. “Do you want me to kill what’s inside here
? To lie to myself that I don’t care?”

  Guilt twined with grief to create an almost palpable knot. For the last couple of months she’d been so wrapped up in her own problems, her own doubts and fears, that she’d given only a fleeting thought to his feelings.

  “I’m sorry…” Emotion made her words hard to move past the lump in her throat. “I never meant to bring you pain.”

  …

  Ryder wanted to tell Diana that she caused him such agony because, after centuries of merely existing, he was finally alive. But the vampire still shimmered beneath his surface and, like a hurt animal, it wanted to lash out at her, to make her share its anguish.

  He had to prove to her that the inner demon could be mastered, so she could trust that if she was turned, she could rein in her vampire’s need for blood and violence.

  But as his anguish began to overwhelm that fragile rein over the demon, he knew he had to get away from her. Before he did something they’d both regret.

  “I need to go.”

  …

  Diana watched as in a blur of speed he jammed on his clothes and shoes, and fled the room. The door slammed shut, the sound like a gun blast. She jumped, feeling as if she’d been shot through the heart.

  She knew she’d cut him deeply with her rejection, but she’d had no choice. She wasn’t ready to make that momentous decision. Not yet.

  Pressing a hand against the hurt in her chest, she told herself it was for the best. They both needed space. Shaking from the pain and fear, she wrapped her arms tightly around her middle. She had to get a grip. For herself, for him, and for all the people who still needed her.

  Which reminded her about the thumb drive in her jacket pocket. And that she had a job to do. So, as she had for so much of her life when emotions threatened to drag her into a downward spiral, she did the one thing that brought her balance.

  She went to work.

  …

  The Slayer had chosen the pretty young woman earlier, picking her out of the crowd. She would help him make a bigger statement. Hurting women, children, or pets always drew greater scrutiny.